Julie writes...
At some point, we have all probably heard The Golden Rule (not to be confused with the Golden Ratio, which is Ricks area of expertise, not mine): treat others as you would like to be treated.
I think that the past few years have really showed us how important it is to follow the Golden Rule. In times of uncertainty, grief, or hardship, a little kindness, patience, and compassion go a long way. Whether it is with your family and friends, or a stranger at the grocery store – we should all be striving to treat others as we want to be treated.
I would even argue that we need to treat ourselves as we would like to be treated. If you had to reread that sentence because it sounded a little awkward, I get it, but hear me out.
What would happen if we used the same kindness and compassion with ourselves that we used with those we love? I think we would find that it makes a huge difference. When I am being particularly hard on myself, I like to pause and ask myself if I would be this critical with my sister or my friend. Most often, I would not, and I choose to give myself a little grace.
What would happen if we admire and appreciate our own artwork the way we admire and appreciate others?
I was having a conversation the other day with a friend, and they said (and I am paraphrasing), “I should tangle more, but I am not good at it.” I told her, “The first step is to stop telling yourself that you are not good at it.” If you tell yourself you are not good at something enough, you will probably start to believe yourself.
I have been thinking about this exchange a lot. We can be our own worst critics and it can really take a toll on our Zentangle practice if we let it. The constant negative self-talk, the criticism, the doubt, and comparison can rob of us of the joy of creativity.
Next time you finish a tile, look at it as if you were looking at a friend’s tile. Ask yourself if you would give them a hard time about a wonky or out of place line. You probably would not even notice those so called “imperfections.” Instead, you may see everything that you love about the tile and how each line interacts with the next, creating a tangled masterpiece.
If you tell yourself your artwork is beautiful enough, you may just start to believe yourself.
Karin Godyns on
I appreciate your thoughtful post, Julie! Comparanoia is the artist’s Achilles heel. Tangling is about process, not product. Go forth and tangle!
Jenny Perruzzi on
Susan M Litteral on
Marilyn Iezzi on
Lisa Hoesing on
Jan ~ Sailandbejoyful~ on
Suchitra on
Beautiful, genuine post, Julie. You always write from your heart.
Becky on
Joanne Pattison on
Julie I so needed to hear this today thank you. I am always my own worst critic. Now back to tangling!
Michele Couture on
Julie, this is such a great and important point. I have been thinking this a lot recently as many generous CZTs have been offering online classes (sometimes as fundraisers for good causes) and I have been “meeting” so many new CZTs. Almost to a person, I hear them criticize themselves and/or their tangling and I want to jump through the screen I have such a big reaction. We are socialized so strongly to be critical of ourselves that it becomes almost invisible to us. These same CZTs patiently look at each student’s tile with compliments and kind words of encouragement but don’t extend that to themselves. When a CZT says during a class “I didn’t do that quite right” or “that was a bad attempt” about their own work, I think it undermines their more conscious effort to compliment students work. I can see how hard you work to always assume the best and be kind in all the times to post to facebook and respond to questions and concerns from CZTs.
Jessica M on
Words I needed to hear! Thank you Julie!
Mary Ellen F. on
Such a worthwhile and important topic to explore. Thank you so much for sharing Julie
Chrissie on
Donna Norton on
Linda Dochter on
And to know I need to practice a tangle more if I can’t get it “right”.
To remain teachable even if I am the teacher. It works! Thanks Julie for the reminder.
Paulette Kirschensteiner on
CeCe Bushinsky on
Thank you Julie! I haven’t been a huge fan of my work lately. This is a great reminder and I sincerely appreciate this post…I really needed this!
Kim on
Julie, thank you so much for this article. I’ve only been tangling since 2017, so I am very critical of my work and seldom do I create something “beautiful” in my opinion. I am actively teaching 3 ladies to tangle and get great satisfaction in their progress! Their artwork is amazing! You are right, I should look at some of my very first tiles and realize that I’ve been on an amazing journey that has brought me so much joy. I am so thankful for every stroke of the pen and the peace within that it brings. We are surrounded by a beautiful group of people who radiate a powerful aura of harmony.
LaJuania on
Timely message… for all the time. I am a lover of other people’s are and such a critic of my own. Thanks for the reminder of a change of perspective.
Theresa Caillouette on
I struggle with a tangle that I like … Hollis. Once again I pulled up the video, listened to Rick and Maria tell me it’s story, and followed along as Rick drew it so beautifully. When it was over I reacted to my tile … I threw it in my tangle trash.
Next morning I wandered into my drawing room and caught sight of that tile on top of the trash heap. I grabbed it out, did one simple thing and WOW! It’s wonderful.
Julie is right, look at your tangles again in another light. Whether it’s the next day or as if it’s someone else’s.
I now have a place for tiles I’m uncertain of … They can have a moment, and I’ll look at them later after my initial reaction wears off.
I’m trying to do this my life too. Think of people and situations as tangles that just need a little love, sculpting, aura-ing or orbs. Or a Bronx Cheer?
Ann on
Preeti Gupta on
If only we could see our ART (and ourselves) as others do! This is so timely, Julie, thank you!
Kim Turmel CZT36 on
Mary Illana Perrin CZT on
Lisa Anderson on