No ReGretas

Molly writes...

My mom has always said, “I learn from my children.” I always giggled at that growing up as I could not believe that was the case.

Now that I am grown and have children of my own, I can understand what she means. There have been countless times that I watch or listen to things my children do or say, and I am completely overwhelmed by the insightful meaning behind it.  

There is brilliance in our innocence and youth. Just as there is priceless wisdom in our age and experience. They both have value, and I believe we should honor them both.  

Recently I was particularly moved by something my daughter shared with me.  

For years my daughter Indy has carried a tiny plastic kitten figurine around with her in her wallet. I had noticed that she did this but never really thought anything of it. Recently I saw it tumble out in her hand as she was getting something, and I asked her why she had it in there. She replied to me as if I should have already known, “oh that is Greta.”

I inquisitively responded, “Greta?”

“Yes,” she went on. “It is short for, No ReGretas and she reminds me to have no regrets.”

She went on to tell me a story about when she was little, and she had saved up her own money and bought something for herself. At the time she was convinced she needed this item and was so excited to have it. Not too much time passed, and she felt as if she had regretted the purchase that she saved so much for. It was a simple feeling she experienced at such a young age, but it was a feeling she tapped into and decided she wanted to pay attention to. She said she did not like the idea of regretting something. So, from that day she adopted Greta to live in her wallet and every time she opened it up, Greta would be there as a friendly reminder to have no regrets. At first it was targeted towards her purchases but soon she carried the concept into her life in general.  

Observing this, kind of blew my mind. I too started thinking about the feeling of regret and acknowledged and agreed with her that it was not a pleasant feeling. It is in fact a normal human behavior. However, if you think about it. Having regret does not change what happened. It does not fix a problem, and it does not move you forward. It only leaves you stuck in the past, feeling bad about something that has already happened. I think about how when we practice the Zentangle Method we encourage our students to tangle with no regrets. We draw with deliberate strokes and take each one as a purposeful part of our journey. Are there imperfect strokes? Yes, there are. Are there so-called mis-strokes or mistakes on our tiles from time to time? Yes, that does happen. Do we get interrupted or too tired to tangle sometimes? Yes, to all of these. But in our practice, we look at whatever situation we have in front of us, and we focus on what the next stroke is. We look for what beautiful thing is happening on our tile and around us. We put our attention toward things we are grateful for in that moment and move forward one stroke at a time.  

Much of what we practice on our tiles, trickles into our lives. It is true that our lives are not perfect. There are things that we all navigate that I am sure we wished didn’t happen or that we did differently. But we cannot change the past, we can only change how we react to the past in the present. We can decide how to move forward, embracing the bits that carried us and the lessons we learned. It all becomes part of the beautiful people we are today. There is beauty to be found on this journey and we all are a unique piece of it. You too!  

So, maybe you too want to carry a Greta along with you? A gentle reminder that whatever comes your way, rather than getting lost in regret, you can choose to find the strength to focus on the next stroke.

We all can choose to learn, overcome and to see the beauty beyond.